Here are my notes:
Stacy started out with the obvious question and answer: Why set a goal? Because, as Zig Ziglar famously said, “If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.”
It still rings true, doesn’t it? If we don’t even try to get what we want, we are essentially choosing to live without it.
Then why do people stop trying?
Stacy Westfall on Failure
Stacy observed that the most common reason people stop trying is failure ~ either fear of future failure or the pain of past failure, or both. Sometimes, this fear is so crippling that people give up.
I often wonder if this is what’s really going on with the many people I know who don’t seem to have big dreams, or else never set meaningful goals in the service of their dreams. To me, they seem to coast along with a vague sense of dissatisfaction, muttering about “someday,” but perhaps the experience is more keenly painful than that. Or maybe they’re just less Type A.
She also encouraged listeners to examine their own thoughts and judgements regarding their failures. A question she asks herself is, “What am I making it mean when something isn’t going as I wish?” The meaning we impose on failure is often more impactful than the failure itself.
Stacy Westfall on Change
Next, Stacy explained that changes is uncomfortable because our brains are hardwired for all things safe and familiar. She noted, “The discomfort of change doesn’t mean I’m off track.”
Change often cuts across our automatic neural pathways, requiring energy and intention from our rational-thinking frontal cortex. Until new habits are really solid, it’s very easy for small diversions (a vacation, an illness, a late alarm clock, a stressful conversation) to skew us back into our default behaviors.
Stacy Westfall on Dreams
Stacy threw out a couple questions to help listeners define their dreams:
- What would you attempt if you knew you couldn’t fail?
- What would you be willing to fail at every day if you knew you’d eventually win?
Pick your favorite. I gravitate toward #1.
Stacy observed that they are really the same question. Are they? I only partially agree. To me, #1 is more freeing on the dreaming front, while #2 offers a dose of reality that somehow makes the dream itself seem more courageous.
Stacy Westfall on Overcoming Obstacles
Prior to the webinar, Stacy provided a workbook to help listeners plan for overcoming the obstacles that are an inevitable part of goal-seeking. (I believe the workbook is still available for free on her website.)
And being present ~ not hung up on the past ~ is key to starting again.
